To anyone who stumbled on this article without knowing what it’s about, no, this is not about all the things I love about my lesbian lover. I don’t have a lesbian lover, because a) my libido is on maternity leave, and (therefore?) b) my partner and I are not in an open relationship right now. Sorry to disappoint. Kind not sorry though because maybe I gotz more viewz. Can you tell I’m slightly inebriated as I’m writing this? Did I mention that you *can* drink and breastfeed with the help of some careful planning? You can, google it.
The reason I’m slightly inebriated tonight is because the scarf I’m trying to crochet is turning out wrong. I did the stripes in the wrong order and it looks crap. Also I’m running out of slate blue wool, and that’s supposed to be the colour of the next stripe, so I ended up feeling a bit stupid and depressed. I’m easily depressed at the moment. Let’s say it’s the hormones. Did you know that breastfeeding puts you in a sort of temporary menopausal state that, among other things, kills your libido?
Can you tell I miss my libido?
My partner misses it, too. And, I’m sure if I had a lesbian lover, she’d be missing it immensely.
Anyway. I wanted to write about my daughter because she’s amazeballs (oh, you CAN tell I’m slightly inebriated) and I have a stupid tendency to only write about my life when it’s going wrong, when in fact the best thing to do would be to write about the good stuff so that I could go back and read it later. So, in true Internet fashion, here is an as-yet-indeterminate number of things I absolutely love about my four-and-a-half month old daughter.
- She’s gentle. In fact, she’s the first baby I’m ever met who has any notion of what gentle even means, except for when it’s happening to them. Most babies, as soon as they know how to grab something, will grab ALL THE THINGS and continue doing so until they are about three, maybe older. Glasses, hair, the skin of your boob, you name it, they will grab it, ruthlessly digging in the sharp little claws you try and fail to keep clipped as they do it. Not so my Baby Diva: when feeding, she does this thing where she puts her hand flat on my boob and sort of strokes it in a way that would be creepy if anyone else did it but is ADORABLE in her. It’s like she’s telling it thank you for the milk it’s giving her. Another thing she does, when it’s nighttime and I’m calming her down with lots of hugs and kisses, is lift her little hand up, fingers slightly apart, and run it softly through my hair or across my cheek. Again, without grabbing – at least, most of the time.
- She’s affectionate. I do this thing where I give her lots of kisses on her cheek and then I turn my cheek to her cheek and say “GIMME KISS?” and sometimes, if she’s in the mood, she’ll turn and sort of lick-suck my cheek, at which point I’ll say “OH, A KISS!!!” and kiss her other cheek, furtively wiping my cheek on her clothes as I do so. She loves it.
- She’s cuddly. No affectionate and cuddly are not the same thing shuddup. When we’re holding her, she’ll hold onto our clothes, unless she wants to be put down (which is rarely). Sometimes she’ll lean her head on our chests. Sometimes, when she’s sleeping on me and I eskimo-kiss her in her sleep, I’ll turn my cheek to her and she’ll sort of snuggle up to it. She’s especially cuddly when she’s tired, and she’s tired a lot, because babies need a lot of sleep. Fact.
- She’s started copying us. Actually she started doing this ages ago, but she does it a lot now and it’s obvious to people other than us. Like, we’ll blow a raspberry at her… and she’ll watch attentively… and blow one back. IT’S LIKE WE’RE SPEAKING THE SAME LANGUAGE.
- She’s easy-going. We can leave her in her playpen or on the carpet surrounded by toys most of the time she’s awake, and she’s fine as long as we occasionally interact with her and congratulate her on managing to stuff her lovey’s head in her mouth or whatever it is she’s trying to do.
- She’s a Strong And Independant Woman. We noticed this almost immediately: when something’s wrong, she doesn’t usually start crying immediately. First, she’ll try to solve the problem herself. Then she’ll grumble a bit. Then she’ll try again. Grumble a bit louder. Only once she’s tried a few things will she actually start to cry. The only exceptions to this rule are when she’s in pain, scared, or extremely tired or ill, so if she starts crying suddenly, we know something’s definitely wrong.
- I’m her favourite. Whenever someone she doesn’t know (or doesn’t know well) holds her, she looks uncertainly at me until I move too far away, at which point she starts crying. I know I should be worried about her starting daycare in May but for now it’s adorable and I love it.
- She has stopped making that horrible high-pitched screeching noise. For now.
- She has really bad nappy rash at the moment and she doesn’t even complain, which makes me think she may have inherited my mother’s Badass gene.
- It’s kinda hard to make her laugh, but when she does it’s that much more rewarding. I do look that much more ridiculous trying to make her laugh, but childbirth has rendered me immune to ridicule so I don’t care.
- She has started taking long afternoon naps and going to bed at 7pm, which means I have a lot more time to do important stuff like writing blog articles and reading.
- We’ve started giving her solids and she absolutely LOVES it. So far we’ve given her a bit of mandarine (we use a mesh rattle thing so she can chew on stuff without choking on it), mashed potatoes and carrots, and mashed banana. With the banana she did this funny thing where she’d pounce on the spoon, then screw her eyes shut and do a sort of shiver, like it was too bitter (or more likely too sweet), but she wanted more anyway. She still spits out half of her spoonfuls and I have to feed the drooly mush back to her if I want her to actually digest any of it, but she doesn’t mind. In fact I think she’d take dire offense if I didn’t.
- And finally… and I know this shouldn’t even be in my criteria, and of course I’d love her just as much without it, blah blah blah but anyway: SHE’S GORGEOUS. Yeah I know, I’m her mother so I’m obviously biaised, but seriously, I think our genes mixed up pretty well, and don’t tell me you can possibly look at this wittle face and not MELT.