Official Second Trimester Post

Today I am fourteen weeks pregnant, which means I’m officially entering my second trimester. Woo! According to The Internet, this means no more nausea (except when I’m hungry, or get low blood pressure, or there’s a particularly nasty smell, especially in the evenings), less fatigue (LOL YEAH RIGHT), and my belly may be starting to show. This last part is true at least, insomuch as I was pretty skinny-bordering-on-underweight before I got pregnant, and my stomach has always had this amazing capacity to stretch, so that every time we ate out, I’d come home looking pretty much the way I look now before a meal.

Anyway, I thought that once the nausea had abated a bit and I could once again stand fabric putting small amounts of pressure on my abdomen, I’d be able to wear pants again, but of course by the time I can wear pants again, they no longer fit. We have been out for a shop, mostly for bras (I’ll get to that in a minute), and I did manage to get hold of one pair of leggings and one pair of what I’ll call granny trousers (because I look and feel about 40 years older when I’m wearing them), but neither are particularly nice-looking. So the other day when I was getting dressed to go for yet another blood test, in my zombified state I just grabbed the most comfy pair of black pants I own and put them on, and found that if I left the buttons undone, they fit, more or less. The did keep sliding down, though, so I’ve found a method of keeping them up – inpsired, once again, by The Almighty Internet:

Momgyver'd pants

I think I saw this on Pinterest.

Bf has called me “mom-gyver”, which makes me both proud of myself for doing it and¬†inexplicably annoyed that he used “mom” as a reference to me, I am going to be a “mum”, thank you very much. (Pregnancy makes you picky about the weirdest things.)

If you’d like to try this for yourself, I’m afraid I can’t really tell you how I managed it. There is one long elastic band, I looped it through a buttonhole, and then sort of improvised by crossing it over the buttons.

Now that might look like it’s not giving much extra room, but it actually is. There’s like a whole size worth of difference there. And if I eat a large meal, I could loosen it by looping the elastic band around only one button.

I’ve no idea what’s going to happen when I need the loo, but I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it.

Let’s talk boobs! A couple of weeks ago, it became apparent to me that my bras no longer fit. This happened when I found myself avoiding getting dressed because it meant putting a bra on, which made the nausea come back even when it wasn’t there in the first place.

Then we went bra shopping, experimenting with a few different sizes before I grudgingly agreed to go up a cup (I have boobs that are big enough to cause me minor back problems and are now pretty saggy even though I’m not yet 30 – think of that next time you envy some 20-yr-old her natural E-cups). I had indeed gone up a cup, as well as a chest size.

You could tell when we found the right size because when I came out of the shop wearing it, Bf remarked on the colour returning to my cheeks, and how I wasn’t out of breath even though we were, y’know, upright and walking. Word of advice, ladies: do not wait until your bra turns into a torture device to buy a new one. Fainting because of a corset used to be normal; fainting because of a bra is just ridiculous.

The Internet tells me that during pregnancy you gain one cup, and if you breastfeed, you gain another. I am resigned to having massive boobs until baby is weaned, but I really hope I lose a few cups afterwards. I’m already feeling the extra back strain.

Other symptoms: nausea has abated, but it’s been replaced by acid reflux, which is still gross. A friend (a male friend who has no clue about pregnancy but who does know a bit about health and fitness in general) advised me to drink warm water and fresh lemon juice every morning before breakfast, and after doing a bit of research on the subject I decided to try it, and lo! it does wake me up, and I do digest food better and get less reflux afterwards. I add honey, though I’m technically not supposed to because honey can have listeria in it (or something), so here’s what I do: put the honey in the cup first, add the boiling water to about halfway, stir until the honey’s dissolved (which should kill the listeria), then add cold water, then add the lemon juice, so the heat doesn’t tranform too much of the vitamine C. I’ve been doing this for less than a week and already I’m starting to look forward to it in the mornings.

Low blood pressure has, if anything, gotten worse. It’s gotten to the point where I’m showering every three days because taking a shower makes me feel dizzy and sick, and exhausts me for the rest of the day. I keep my glucose tabs in the bathroom and take one or two afterwards, I’ve lowered the temperature of the water to lukewarm, I’ve tried to shower sitting down – it all helps, but I’m still pretty lifeless for the next 24hrs. Does anyone have any advice here? Am I just going to have to have cold showers for the next six months, and risk getting pneumonia in summer?

Because of the low blood pressure, I’ve become even more tired, so instead of being productive and writing or playing music or whatever else I usually do when I’ve got lots of free time, I’ve started watching musicals on YouTube. So far I’ve watched Jesus Christ Superstar, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and Little Shop of Horrors, all of which were great for different reasons, and all of which I’ve live-tweeted a commentary of on Twitter, if you’re into that kind of thing. Next, I think, shall be West Side Story.


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